Ok today was just one of those crazy all over the place days. But with you by my side it was def worth it.
I woke up feeling OK, First thing I see is a friend from Breast cancer support group has died. Suddenly from a blood clot, she was fine then she died. You came into my room wanting me to go to Dunkin Donuts. I asked you about going to kids support group for kids with cancer affecting their lives. you said but I dont know anyone with cancer.
So we talked about my breast cancer, you know I have it but thought it was all gone b/c of the medicine I take. We talked about mom mom and I could see you tearing up about Mom-Mom and making that connection (which you refused to say) that I may die from this disease. after some holding and hugs, we got dressed had a nice breakfast at Dunkin Donuts. We talked about how it didnt make us sad to go there anymore. That we felt mommom's presence there and it made us happy like we were having breakfast with her.
Then we reviewed your Christmas list, ordered poppop stuff. Then off to Shoprite, where despite the pouring rain you worked hard helping to carry bags with out being asked to help. Very proud of you.We got gas on the way home and Band on the run was playing at the gas station, we sang and laughed how we heard it outside the car but when you opened doors you couldnt. Spooky. LOL.
After some Pizza Hut, we were off to our new kids/parents support group. I am not much of a face to face support person but I loved the moderator when I met her and felt like it was a good match for you. You only have us and I wish you had a sibiling to talk to. So maybe this support group will give you that chance. I worry b/c its all about canacer and is that too in your face. Obviously since you kind of forgot I had cancer I have been doing a good job keeping your life normal, That is what I want but the cancer is a sort of undersurrent. You met a kid your age. Did a great job with the projects. My group was good. Talked about raising kids self esteem and I know its something I should work on, I am always proud of you but somethimes things especially after studying a long time may come out like a negative and not a positive. I want you to knpw that I am sorry and am def trying to work on that. Then we got together as a family an wrote a poem about who we are as a family. We are a kind and loving family. You even volunteered to read our poem first. It was a great bonding experience. Glad you liked it and you said you wanted to go back.
I decided to treat you and you got the kinetic raving rabbits game we had been playing earlier, Its hard sometimes at Christmas to enjoy each game b.c you get a few (ok normally a lot) and this way you can play this one and enjoy it now.
I love to make you happy. Seeing your eyes light up and your gorgeous smile warms my heart and brings me true happiness. I will always see that smile no matter where I am.. You are my angel.
I love you so much. I wish life was easier for you sometimes but you are blesses b/c you are so loved.
No comments:
Post a Comment